11/5/2008 - Chapter 36 I lost you (2) at last new |
Chapter 36 I lost you (2) at last new
Dress up meticulously, it is dressed up meticulously for Xiao Cheng that this is the first time, but go to handle our bill of divorcement. Thing in this world to can say while being so unreasonable. In the twinkling of an eye in that one that I loved Xiao Cheng, he decides to leave me. Smiling at oneself in the mirror, I am that evil spirit's ice is blue, the evil spirit is destined to come to human world of the disaster and endure hardships for it, so, the evil spirit can not cry.
That house, that place, that person, only different one is day. 135 get married, two 4 divorce. Two legs of mine feel like jelly, Xiao Cheng has entered supporting me. We couple for the same day.
The taste of a whiff of steamed stuffed buns in the room, it is estimated whose breakfast it is, it is disgusting to suddenly flood for a moment, go to the gate to retch. Is Xiao Cheng looking at me wondering, the ice is blue, you?
It doesn't matter, the stomach has caught a cold, a little uncomfortable.
Take care.
I know. Bearing and has not shed tears strongly.
Xiao Cheng does not know, has his children in my belly too, I can't let him know, otherwise, how should he choose, how to face? Last so much agony, with me he of the ten year already the Cheng Xiao one life the unhappy.
Mediate, OK? It is not more easy for two people to come into marriages, don't be too careless, otherwise go out for a walk first?
No. I say.
What reason?
Xiao Cheng has not spoken.
I have cast a look at him. I am sick, can't carry on normal couple's life.
Woman divorced to handle look up, sweep from lens I, one face of sympathies above.
I saw the lip that Xiao Cheng is gripping closely.
This one of two people's happy smile to hand over that bright red one, bring a green this one, my heart has broken with watermark Guang, in a moment, we turn from whole family into the stranger. How strange the interpersonal relation is!
I straight and upright body hard, to accepted theory Xiao, red to park originally, green our bank, congratulations, there is freedom of driving a vehicle.
Xiao Cheng is looking at me with very complicated expression. Such a moment, let no one can easily. I am smiling hard, wave the arm overstating, does not dare to see him.
Muster the courage, touch his looks, his face with clearly demarcated raised angle, since for a long time, not touching his face so carefully, I say, Xiao Cheng, the happiness that you want, just regarded as and has not let down my withdrawal, I annex the latter half sentence.
The ice is blue, let's have lunch together.
I say, not because does not want to follow you to eat quietly, it is that my gestation reaction is really too serious.
No, I think I takes a walk, please go back first.
It is a late autumn, walk on the way home alone. The family, where is home? Nobody show a lamp for me again. Fast to autumn? It is even all so cold at noon. Suddenly remembered that poem that the old Buddhist monk gave to me, had understood at last, that was a dirge in conformity with my destiny originally.
Not getting married without becoming the theory, silly swimming skills of people are like leaving the flower. If ask you kindness must be efficient, to the end if the square county magistrate is rough.
I do not rather succeed desolately, always never blame him, if say this grows me what has been felt most sorry is him.
Just enter November, it gets up the snow, lock oneself in the room, I wonder what should be done. Want some support cigarette very much, but stomach there are children.
Someone knocks at the door.
Bei Bei shows a pair of big eyes from the muffler that is wrapped up in tightly. The basket is blue, happy birthday. A paradise bird red as fire is so red as to sting the eye.
The nose tingles. Yes, it is my birthday today, on blue birthday of 34 years old of ice, but I have already forgotten. Empty in the heart, for a long time, I will not shed tears yet. I know and silence is accepted one's own destiny.
Bei Bei hold I, blue basket, a bit more happy.
Bei Bei, is it fragrant to burn wicks with me.
Bei Bei see I in surprise. Do you profess Buddhism?
I have not spoken. Believe, I know a one's own one is sinful, did not dare to step foot on Buddhism Holy Land unexpectedly, I'm afraid a carelessness changes the true features dimpled.
I want, go last one column fragrant, go, atone for one's crime, for child of tripe really.
Life let people change disposition unexpectedly.
Very small temple, very small wooden door, quiet, thin burning incense, hear the sound of the wooden fish indistinctly.
The ones that stepped foot on the gate were defied one to tremble by this kind of quietness of shutting off oneself from society once stopping. I think, I really revere Buddhist patriarch, quietness like this was amazed by by my heart too unexpectedly.
Bei Bei has say Buddhism can purify the person's soul, he has sad and pityful mind, can dissolve the sin in this world.
It was negligible that the solemnity of Buddhist patriarch let me think it is one's own to arrive, kneel and read under Buddha's foot silently in the heart.
Buddhist patriarch, you know all all sins of grief in this world, I know I have planted the bitter pill of the sin and suffered the retribution, the karma of human world should be born, I do not ask your forgiveness, only ask you to make the child in my belly healthy and happy. Buddhist patriarch, it is a selfish decision that I do not know to give birth to this child, but I love him, I can feel he grows in my belly, I can feel his life. Buddhist patriarch, I want him very much, want very much, my selfishness that excuse me.
Appear, come to courtyard light much really unexpectedly, snow was still flying in profusions, grow tiny happiness out in the bottom of heart. I think, I found one's own direction at the time of that. Sad and pityful Buddhist patriarch, it is you that guide for me when being dark and dark?
Xiao Cheng leaves the house to me, has not refused, can be regarded as him for the child's, the child in the stomach needs money to support. I decide to give birth to this child, I like girls, but I hope this is a small boy, clear expression in one's eyes like have desolate to become, he will grow up slowly, long formation of image man like being desolate to succeed, will very painful very painful one carelessness offer as a gift, fall kindhearted evil spirit in human world. He is granted by Xiao Tian. |
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