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It was a strange thing that the patient had humour enough to see their distrust, for, coming close to me, he said in a whisper, all the while looking furtively at them, "They think I could hurt you! Fancy me hurting you! The fools!"
It was soothing, somehow, to the feelings to find myself disassociated even in the mind of this poor madman from the others, but all the same I do not follow his thoughtAm I to take it that I have anything in common with him, so that we are, as it were, to stand togetherOr has he to gain from me some good so stupendous that my well being is needful to Him? I must find out later onTonight he will not speakEven the offer of a kitten or even a full-grown cat will not tempt him
He will only say, "I don't take any stock in catsI have more to think of now, and I can wait
After a while I left himThe attendant tells me that he was quiet until just before dawn, and that then he began to get uneasy, and at length violent, until at last he fell into a paroxysm which exhausted him so that he swooned into a sort of comaThree nights has the same thing happened, violent all day then quiet from moonrise to sunriseI wish I could get some clue to the causeIt would almost seem as if there was some influence which came and wentHappy thought! We shall tonight play sane wits against mad onesHe escaped before without our helpTonight he shall escape with itWe shall give him a chance, and have the men ready to follow in case they are required-"The expected always happens How well Disraeli knew lifeOur bird when he found the cage open would not fly, so all our subtle arrangements were for noughtAt any rate, we have proved one thing, that the spells of quietness last a reasonable timeWe shall in future be able to ease his bonds for a few hours each dayI have given orders to the night attendant merely to shut him in the padded room, when once he is quiet, until the hour before sunriseThe poor soul's body will enjoy the relief even if his mind cannot appreciate itHark! The unexpected again! I am calledThe patient has once more escaped-Another night adventureRenfield artfully waited until the attendant was entering the room to inspectThen he dashed out past him and flew down the passageI sent word for the attendants to followAgain he went into the grounds of the deserted house, and we found him in the same place, pressed against the old chapel doorWhen he saw me he became furious, and had not the attendants seized him in time, he would have tried to kill meAs we were holding him a strange thing happenedHe suddenly redoubled his efforts, and then as suddenly grew calmI looked round instinctively, but could see nothingThen I caught the patient's eye and followed it, but could trace nothing as it looked into the moonlight sky, except a big bat, which was flapping its silent and ghostly way to the westBats usually wheel about, but this one seemed to go straight on, as if it knew where it was bound for or had some intention of its own
The patient grew calmer every instant, and presently said, "You needn't tie meI shall go quietly!" Without trouble, we came back to the houseI feel there is something ominous in his calm, and shall not forget this night
LUCY WESTENRA'S DIARY
Hillingham, 24 shop August |